DEAR ABBY: Fifteen years ago I “ran away from home” to escape my grown children and finally built a life for myself.
They were able to stay in the house because I kept paying the mortgage. Her father – my ex – and his family all lived nearby.
Now none of my children want anything to do with me or my family and they don’t want any communication from me. I guess they feel abandoned as I was the parent they could always count on.
Is there anything I can do to fix our relationship?
nascent mother in pennsylvania
DEAR MUM: Yeah, tell your kids you’re selling the house that I assume you own entirely now. I’m pretty sure they will start “communicating” with you as soon as the message gets to them.
You’ve been more than generous by keeping the house rates the same so they have a roof over their heads. If you had to “run away” from your bottomless need, you did the right thing.
Please do not allow yourself to be taken advantage of any further. You saved yourself and you shouldn’t feel sad or guilty because you did it.
DEAR ABBY: I recently started talking to this guy from my past. i really like him We’ve been back and forth for a year now because we both had things in our lives that needed attention first (e.g. my bipolar depression and seeking counseling).
However, my best friend has threatened to remove me from her life if I seek a relationship with him.
On the one hand, this guy makes me feel like I’m on fire – in a good way, of course. But then again, I don’t want to lose my best friend. What can I do?
HARD CHOICE IN ILLINOIS
DEAR HARD CHOICE: You left out something important in your letter. why does your best friend have such strong objections to this guy? Is she jealous? Could it have something to do with his problems?
The last time you dated him did it end badly? As bad?
Your best friend may be trying to save you, but she’s clumsy. Talk to her.
DEAR ABBY: A friend recently came to my house. I offered coffee and cake which I had already sliced and arranged on plates. She replied that she wasn’t hungry right now and would take it home for later and asked me for packaging or a container to put it in.
Of course I complied, but I’ve never heard of anything like this, although often diners take home uneaten food from a restaurant.
Am I off track here, or do I have a right to be as shocked as I was?
LOVE SURPRISED: If you were “shocked” by what she did, you must be sensitive indeed.
Your friend has been honest with you. Believe her. She may love the cake you offered, but she is watching her weight and thought she would put it in the freezer to enjoy another time.
I don’t know of any etiquette that dictates that a person must eat a pastry in the presence of the hostess.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, aka Jeanne Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.